My self-reflection

Working on Henry V and playing Macmorris and Bedford has been both the most challenging, demanding, and rewarding processes I’ve had as an actor. From the very beginning I was unsure of myself and felt major imposter syndrome. I was terrified stepping into the rehearsal room initially, but soon after I got cast I saw a quote that has helped me immensely throughout the process. “Do it Scared”. And I did, this quote pushed me to do my best and remind myself that everyone makes mistakes. However working with my castmates, who are so welcoming, helped diminish that feeling quite a bit. From the casting process to the final performance this show has forced me to confront both my strengths and limitations, particularly in terms of stamina, energy, consistency, growth, and learning. Before this show I was still pretty new to Shakespeare and Elizabethan rhetoric, and was underconfident. Now I can say I have skills to help me for whichever Shakespeare opportunity presents itself next! 

I think one of the stronger aspects of my process was my usage of actioning. Before I had classes with Marc and doing this show I had no idea what actioning was and had never used the technique, and now I would say that it has helped me grow my acting. Breaking the text into playable verbs gave me clearer objectives for each beat. This was especially helpful when the action would change throughout the scene. It also helped with differentiating the two characters I was playing, because in a way, their actions were kind of opposite. Additionally, incorporating elements of Uta Hagen, especially given circumstances, allowed me to ground the heightened language in something more human and accessible.

Another success was my growing ability to listen and respond in the moment, particularly as the run progressed. At first I was holding onto hand holds that weren’t helping me because I was afraid of doing it wrong. But as rehearsals continued and performances ran, I was gradually able to respond in the moment instead of anticipating a line. By the third performance, I was less focused on “getting it right” and more engaged with my scene partners, which made the performance a lot more fun. I also found that physical choices such as stillness versus movement, and the avoidance of being swallowed up by the costumes greatly helped. Vocally, I improved in tone and clarity. During rehearsals I would sometimes get vocal fatigue. As time went on, especially during performances where I was not vocally tired by the end of it. I think part of what helped was using techniques I learned in Voice and Body Movement to safely use my voice. 

However, there were also clear challenges and areas for improvement. One of the biggest issues was consistency. For some performances I felt fully present and connected, while others I lost my attention and slipped into repetition. I sometimes struggle with maintaining spontaneity while also delivering a technically demanding text. I still need to work on being even more in the moment, and concentrating my circles of attention. 

Another area that could have been stronger was risk-taking. While I developed a solid balance of my characters, I think I occasionally played it too safe. There were opportunities to push emotional extremes or explore more vulnerability that I didn’t fully commit to, out of fear of losing control of the text or pacing especially as Macmorris. If I were to revisit this role, I would spend more time experimenting in rehearsal and allowing for greater variation in performance.

In terms of translating theory into practice, this process was a clear example of how foundational acting techniques can directly shape performance. Actioning, objectives, and given circumstances are not just abstract concepts, they became essential tools for navigating Shakespeare’s language and sustaining my roles. But also learning not to get too wrapped up into techniques and go with the flow, as Marc likes to say. I also began to understand the balance between intellectual analysis and instinctive performance. Early in the process, I relied heavily on analysis, but over time I began to learn to trust myself and the work and allow it to breathe onstage.

Overall, I would assess my performance as my strongest yet, but not without error. I believe that I grew in confidence, textual understanding, and stage presence, and I was able to carry the role with some sense of intention and commitment. However, I know there's much room for growth and I can’t wait to do the work. It’s hard, to say the least, but if it were easy, everyone would do it. This experience has given me practical tools that I will carry into future work. I’ll continue to “Do it Scared”. That is what made this process both challenging and rewarding, and it’s what I will take with me moving forward.